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Sunday, July 31, 2005

Screaming In My Mind

[friday]
Sheesh i stayed up quite late. Hahar was marinating the chicken. And figuring out the ingredients too. Yea tink i finish doing the chicken at abt near 1am and went to bed at 2am.

[saturday]
Wooa big day. Lol ctss carnival. Lucky shi hui and yuvin came to my hse in the morning if not i'll be dragging those ten odd kg of chickens by myself *grins* Haa reach school liao all busy busy busy. Got kebab stall to tend to and also the cotton candy stall. Haa cotton candy nice to make one! Kekeke. Hah! Didnt expect ppl to give us positive comments on our kebabs! *winks* Teehee 'very tender and juicy'. Guess it was a success. Good job evryone.

Haa the carnival was from 10am-5pm. Sheesh i tink i did slack at a certain period. Muaha went ard and visit each stall. Was kinda bored doing the kebabs. Oh yah it rain halfway! Grrrr. No good no good. Hahar.

Oh well i reached home at abt 7pm. Tot of gg out for dinner wif the others but i decided to gif it a miss. Yea so i walked home wif luying, hehe we talk as we walk. Reli nice to talk to her, hahar girl's talk *grins* Yea i reach home liao, took a bath and... hah! I fell aslp. Lol.

[sunday]
Waha today ish my mummy b-dae and oso luying's. Hahar happy b-dae! So sad cant celebrate mummy's b-dae todae, she's working so i guess we have to celebrate it tml as she's not working tml. But... Haa i gort school tml, sumore aft sch still gort the focus proggrame. Shucks...

[thoughts]
Urgghh. Im screaming in my mind! One by one is telling me a lie. So much for my caring and understanding towards them... But it ended up that evryting they shared with me was nothing but a LIE! I felt so vunerable right now. One more thing. Theres a seed of hatred planted in my heart towards one of my close friend. Its planted in my heart already but im trying hard to get tat hatred out of my heart... Cos hatred will do me harm. I noe that well. And i noe that if im still angry wif her and cant get over with it, i have nothing to say abt myself cos its childish and so not matured of me to be like that. Oh well can somebody or anyone just help me for once?!

I nearly cried too went one of my classmate confide in me ytd after the carnival. Haa i guess my feelings was kinda mixed up and thats why i actually felt tears accumulating in my eyes. Hahar it wont be nice if she's cryin and den i also started crying too. So i hold my tears back and told her to cheer up. Now i reli feel like crying... But i guess there's no one available right now to lend me their shoulders... Cos im always the one who's lending my ears and shoulders to anyone who needs it. But for me?! I have onli myself... I gues... Am i too kind or wad?? Urggh!

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