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kasinah89 @ blogspot.com ♥
Friday, September 03, 2004

School: Suck!
Friendship: No comment!
Feeling: Im not a human!
Honestly, i dunno why i made 'tat' decision while i was in sec1. I tot my life would be,yea 'different' if i were in express. Well, i gort my mindset wrong at da first place. I noe its no use having regrets now cos i cant jus turn back time rite. And sum1 jus told me tat no use crying over a spill milk. My split personality... I found out tat i gort split personality at the end of my sec1 life. How i noe?! Sum of my fren told me actualli. Tot it wasnt true but i soon realise abt it and kinda found it true tho. Im so helpless, cant find myself. By now i can tell u all my spilty personality. Let me list it down.
  • Me number one: A quiet girl and doesnt reli mix ard well. (yea tat happen for me in class tho) Uh huh, yea the girl hu jus sit and rot at one corner, wondering in her own world of dreams. Or jus sit and listen to lesson like a piece of 'wood' waiting for evrytink to end...
  • Me number two: Tis me, ish more weird! All you can see ish tat i keep laughing 24hrs wif my fren. Yea the one tat goes wif da flow. A happy-go-lucky girl i can sae.
  • Me number three: Im scary! But it onli occur occasionally. Well i can be mean, cruel and i can turn into a backstabber too. Eerie huh?! Yup wen im tis 'me', i cant be bothered abt people feelings or tots.
  • Me number four: Well for tis 'me', i tend to be an angel. Reli! Yea u noe, like being kind, understanding and care for others all those stuffs. If im not wrong i was like tis wen i was in sec1. Uh huh i tink i was like a person hu was always ready to listen to other ppl probs and kinda help them wen they are in difficult situation.

My reflections: Actualli i've been wantin to sae tis. My class suck. I mean i cant stand the atmosphere. Yea there are times u will feel tat its reli hard to concentrate and are always distracted. I tink tis kinda affected my 'learning centre' abit tho, yea like 1/4 of it was the atmosphere of my class. U noe like sum jokers or people hu donno how to do tinks at da rite time and stuffs.

Oh yah our lastest issue in class. Attitude! I believe da teacher (shall not write da name) have at least put in effort for our class. I've seen it myself, like wat happen todae. I tink u people shld be alert enuf to notice wat she had done todae even tho it was not appreciated by certain ppl. Well i reli believe tat one can alter their lives by altering their attitudes. Sheesh no offence ppl. Attitude... Imagine, if all of us jus shut our mouth n not talk. Yeah kinda look dumb tho but well at LEAST we created a chance for ourself and others too! Wat chance?! Yup. To listen and let the teacher teach us. Dun you tink u ppl will benefit from it. But for those hu dun care, u ppl may choose to daydream or wateva. And by right, the least 'these' ppl can do is to keep quiet and dun disrupt the lesson or disturb others hu are trying or want to learn. Sigh...

Uh huh. Exams are jus round da corner. Im sho confused. I dun tink ppl can understand how i feel cos i myself dun understand wat i feel. Sigh... I gort two choice. One, buck up for my final year exam and tat means i have to use my 1 week reli reli wisely! Two, drop dead or wat?! Resign myself to fate?! Well i dun believe in resigning myself to fate.

Tempted: Believe it or not, theres one time i wanted to commit suicide. Yea. I myself cant believe it. It happen tis year tho. Sigh, i was sick actually. Den i dunno why i suddenly feel stress. The next tink i noe, i was planning and abt to do it. Was planning to take an overdose pills for my flu. And those pills was oredy in my hand, quite a handful of them actually. Well u ppl should noe wat happen next. Im still alive. Didnt manage to do it. Sum scenes jus flashed thru my mind and jus put back those pills into da pack back.


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